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How far is too far?


In this growing society of heterosexual-ism and in a world where ‘sex sells’…how far will it go until we leave nothing to the imagination.

I am exploring this topic as a good friend of mine recently felt the effects of society’s relaxed approach to sex. After enjoying a beautiful meal at Piccolino’s in Bramhall, Cheshire (I strongly suggest you check it out) whilst finishing her crisp glass of ice-cold pinot, her boyfriend of four years revealed that he had received a lap dance with two of his friends as a ‘joke’ at the end of a night out. After hearing his shocking revelation, and filled with feelings of betrayal and disgust, she left the restaurant as quick as she could, much to the intrigue of fellow diners.

Her boyfriend was shocked at her instant reaction and believed he had no reason to apologise; apparently this kind of ‘end-of-the-night antics’ is completely normal for men in their early twenties. But is it?

I can’t help but feel that men cannot see the problem in paying half naked women money to dance for them, when they have perfectly beautiful girlfriends waiting for them at home. However, why do they then feel the need to keep it from their wives/girlfriends?

I understand this concept of ‘window shopping.’ Don’t get me wrong, I think everyone, male and female, are guilty of straying their eyes from time to time and admiring others; let’s face it, we all appreciate the finer things in life! But how comfortable would you be if your man had another girl dance on him in attempt to get him aroused?

I would be a hypocrite if I said I hate strip clubs, as I have been known to go in them after night out and appreciate that they are often places that people go with their friends to carry on drinking; sometimes you just don’t want the night to end! I would also like to make it clear that I am in no way criticising the girls that work there; after all, they are confident women that are making money.

I am simply interested to know how boyfriends can justify other women dancing for them as ‘fun’ and ‘a drunken laugh with the lads.’ I tried to explain this to my friend but it made me realise, there is no female equivalent.

I know we have male stripper shows, and these are so much fun, but I believe the dynamics are completely different. A room filled with oiled-up body builders in pink leather thongs, gyrating on groups of champagne fuelled women, seems worlds apart from a one-on-one dance with an almost-naked girl in a room on their own. I feel I would not be alone in my judgement.

Or would I? Part of me believes that a large part of a man’s mentality would be the bravado in front of his friends. No man wants to feel that somebody owns them, or admit to their friends, especially after a few beers, that they can’t join in with what the rest are doing, because of the ‘missus.’ Additonally, is the public obsession with sex in general starting to erase of the line between what is acceptable. What I am saying is that recently, even pop stars use sex as an instrument to appeal to fans. Take Rihanna for example, and can I just say I LOVE her, she gives audience members a seductive dance as part of her show, male or female. We just see this as sexy and eccentric.

Rihanna at her gig in Barbados, performing 'Man Down.'


Let me know what you think ladies. Where does the problem lie with men and strip clubs? Or isn’t there one at all; are we in a society where sex and sensuality is no longer embarrassing? Please let me know what you think.

One comment on “How far is too far?

  1. I completely agree with what you are saying, it’s such a difficult subject to justify. As a female I think it is only considered ‘a joke’ if it is not kept a secret from your other half, and they can laugh about it to. I was in the same situation and it was kept a secret from me, so when I found out, it made me ask other questions and what else he ‘might not have told me’. Food for thought. I would have been less annoyed if he had been honest in the first place, and was going for his friends birthday but that wasn’t the case and ended up in arguments and a grudge against strip clubs, that I didnt really need to have. xoxo

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